If Milwaukee Had A Baby It'd Look Like Dwayne Wade & Jeffrey Dahmer

Milwaukee: city of Miller beer and mentally unstable crackheads.

Coming here I thought that it would be a dumbed down version of downtown Chicago: fast moving people, big buildings, the smell of a small city with big dreams.

Bullsh*t.

Downtown Milwaukee has 2 big buildings and I'm sure I could walk to the top before the elevator hit the third floor. The only people moving fast are the vast amounts of homeless people looking to hound you for change and transfers. And, that smell you might ask? If it's not the smell of dog biscuits every morning then it's the smell of old, displaced water from Lake Michigan that's deposited in a lil bank not too far from the school. Or, maybe you're referring to that cloud of funk that punches you in the face when you get on the #30, which is the equivalent of a Chicago #3 or #4 (but i'd fuck w/ the CTA ANYDAY! over this).

The best thing to ever happen to this city had to be that 1 - Dwayne Wade went to MU and 2 - Jeffrey Dahmer used to stay like 7 blocks away from my dorm.

It's no surprise nobody ever wants to admit they're from here.

"Hey. You from here?"
"Nah, I'm from Chicago"
"Oh me too! What part?"
"Uh...the good part"
"You live around the corner don't you?"
"Yeah"
"Alright. Let's go get some lunch."

Don't be ashamed that your city blows balls! Embrace this funky smelling ass town! Embrace some of the positive aspects of it! There's a Cousins Sub and Bar Louie everywhere you turn...you've got a Whole Foods and even a piece of Lake Michigan!

But, so does Chicago....

Well, we can't all be happy.