Chuky Choo-Lo

Okay. So at one point or another I'm sure you were running late for class. You either had to do a serious Mike Myers powerwalk or a Kersey Joyner sprint. It's five minutes before 1pm and here you are all the way on the opposite end of the campus. The bus is long gone and it seemslike everyone in front of you just got out of class and could care less about whether or not you flunk Modern Ethics.

So...

You're sprinting. You are just on it until you run into the kinds of people I have come to hate. Everything is going good until you somehow end up behind a group of people who not only are taking their s...l...o...w...a...s...s...t...i...m...e... but they all know each other, so they're spread horizontally across the entire walk way. I mean, these people stretch literally from the grass on one side to the curb of the street. It's like an impenetreable force. You go left. You go right. No luck. But, the clock is ticking and if you're late one more time your teacher is going to pull out the paddle of the syllabus and fail your country ass into a new recession.

What do you do?

You...
A - Bust through those motherfuckers and take names later.
B - Walk on the street but run the risk of getting hit by every mad Wisconsin driver because they have some sort of problem with Illinois people (they smell us from a mile away)
C - You politely ask them to move because you are in a hurry
D - You say "Fuck it" and hope FASFA will cover that Ethics course for one more semester

Being a good semaritan, you go for option C. But you fucked up. Oh boy you fucked up.

"Excuse me. Can...excuse me...hello?"

This force can't hear you. Not because it's loud outside, but because they all made a non-verbal decision to ignore you. They're just that fuckin cool that they can use their psychopowers to tune you out. Yeah, I'm sure they learned it from their glorious MU education. However, you have to revert back to your Chi-Town roots and do the only thing you know how.

"Get the fuck out of my way" and you pummel through in a fit of What the fuck's and Excuse you's.

Finally making it to class out of breath and clearly pissed off, you remember...


Class was canceled.

Sweet.